A Crack in the Trade Deadline Plan

With nine days left before the trade deadline, I don't see a whole lot of opportunity for deadline fireworks unless you start looking at the GMs various personalities and the situations they find themselves in. As you may know, the deadline for trading a player from one team to another is 2:59:59PM EST on February 26th. After 3:00, teams are bound to use whatever assets they have under prior contract. The teams that acquire new assets before the deadline (Buyers) are those that need an extra push to make a playoff run while those that trading away talent for picks and prospects (Sellers) typically do not have much of a hope of making the offseason dance.

The three points awarded for teams going into overtime coupled with the new salary cap has bunched most teams to within arms' reach of the postseason. Currently every team but one is within 8 points of the last playoff spot in their division. A 4-game winning streak timed extremely well with everybody in front of you falling flat and BOOM you're in. This is what happened to the Islanders last year so it's not impossible... improbable, yes, but not impossible.

Ultimately this parity leads us to a deadline where almost everybody is a buyer and very few are sellers. It's like a town of crackheads walking around convulsing with snot running down there face looking for a fix. These crackheads will find nothing but heartache as they search for their hookup because all but the Maple Leafs and L.A. Kings are still in the "buyer" position. The L.A. Kings are the furthest out at 13 points back and must be resigned to their chances. The Leafs threw in the towel when they hired Cliff Fletcher to dismantle the mess that John Ferguson Jr. created with his insane long term deals. However, the Leafs' most valuable assets all have the dreaded "NTC" next to their employee ID on the Toronto payroll. "NTC" means "No Trade Clause" and is the equivalent of taking the hands of the crackdealer, cutting them off, and cauterizing the stumps. Poor Fletcher will most likely be run out of town by an angry mob at the end of his temporary contract if he cannot improve the team.

If Fletcher gets really desperate, he may be able to deal away Sundin, Tucker, or McCabe through some creativity. But it's likely he will get fleeced having to take back expensive players without an "NTC" or package his own picks or prospects with his refuse. Its a bit like giving the garbage man a big tip to take your operable refridgerator off the curb after failing to sell it at the yardsale.

This means that L.A. is the sole possessor of anything of value that can be traded. Little, dirty, crumbly, baking soda riven crackrocks like like Rob Blake, Michael Handzus, and Kyle Calder are suddenly the only fix at the party and the junkies are drooling . Only the baddest, most desperate, and aggressive of crackheads will score with these rocks.

Top 4 Crackheads by Severity

1. Lou Lamoriello (NJ Devils) - Lou doesn't make deals unless he feels he's got a chance at winning the whole nine. Rumors have him looking for a center. His moves are wise and typically not shortsighted (a la Mogilny and Malakov). Judicious junkies like Lou that like getting high but still know how to keep their jobs are known as a "White-collar Crackheads".
   
2. Darryl Sutter (Calgary Flames) - You don't get Mike Keenan as a coach and then start a 5-year rebuild plan. The Flames are a strong, balanced team with elite goaltending that could use a top-6 player. Keenans and Sutter will covet the "Noonan crack" i.e. a depth guy at the end of career that he can make a hero. Maybe that person is already in place as Owen Nolan.
   
3. Doug Wilson (San Jose Sharks) - There seems to be immense pressure on this franchise to win now. I think it's a bit premature considering they're still one of the youngest teams in the league, but I think they'll make at least one move to silence fans and critics. I could see them making a trade with their Montreal buddies and swapping out Marleau for Mark Streit. We call this willingness to bow to external forces a "Pipe Hittin by Peer Pressure Crackhead".
   
4. Glen Sather (NY Rangers) - Nobody can count him out of the crack race. While his unwieldy heavy ship is taking on water, he can be counted upon to buy an iceberg and place it front-and-center on deck. He's a "drooling, crappin' his pants junkie" of the Nth degree.