To those who knew him, I wanted to let you know that Melvin is no longer with us. Some of you know that he's been having seizures for the last month, increasing in frequency and severity. His recoveries were long, cloudy and painful and reached the point where he stopped being the crotch-sniffing, face licker who was so special to our family. In his memory, I've compiled 10 stories that you may have not know about him. Feel free to send along any that I missed...
I hope you remember him fondly.
Chris
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10. Escape from Athenstraz - Most people knew what a pain in the butt Melvin was to catch once loose, and the first taste came after only having Melvin for a month back in 1997. While in England for a week, Melvin went to stay with his new uncle Mike in Athens. Within an hour of dropping him off, Melvin has escaped from Mike's basement by leaping through a small 6x9 missing pane of glass in a back door which was 3 feet off the ground. Mike searched but couldn't locate the elusive husky. Fortunately Melvin was found by a household of hippies who kept him in the backyard on a couch for week feeding him homegrown vegetables and soy burgers.
9. Escape from Athenstraz II - I returned from England and listened to my voicemail hearing...
"[electronic answering maching voice]MONDAY.... [hippie voice] Uh, hello, this is Joe and I think we found your dog. He's a husky and kind of nuts? Give us a call at....".
"[electronic answering maching voice]WEDNESDAY.... [frustrated hippie voice] Dude, I think we have the right number, but looking up the dog's tag, they say you live in Atlanta.... I'm really confused, anyway, we still have this dog here. He's cool and all but... uh, like he ate my girlfriend's socks, her loofah, and ransacked the kitchen. Give us a call at..."
"[electronic answering maching voice]FRIDAY.... [scared hippie voice] Hey, I don't know where you are but this dog is like living in our backyard and chained to the couch now. We didn't want chain him up but he was eating everything in the vegetable garden, kept jumping over the fence, and sent a couple of cats up some really big trees. Dude..."
It was now Saturday and I called Mike and told him where Melvin was camped
out. Mike, thankful for a chance at dogsitting redemption, retrieved the "dog
from hell" from said hippies, plugged the missing window pane with a pillow, and
put Melvin in the basement to wait for my imminent return. Melvin looked around
the basement, ran at full speed towards the door with the pillow, and in one
move, leaped into the air popping the pillow back through the hole and sailed
into the backyard. The ensuing chase description sounds like an old Abbott and
Costello skit and one that I have lived many times.
8. Nine Lives - I first suspected that he was a reeeally lucky dog when I first setup his dog run in the backyard in Atlanta. I rigged a 50 foot aircraft cable across the yard which ran from a basement dog door to the back of the property's 6 ft. high chain link fence. Along the run was strung a 15 foot aircraft cable lead/leash that could slide freely along the run giving a great range of access across the backyard. I had to use a steel lead because he chewed through the original nylon lead and escaped (cue Abbott and Costello music). I came home from work a day or two after installing this masterpiece and looked in the backyard but the dog is gone. I was in disbelief how he possibly could have escaped from this my fortress when I noticed the 15 foot lead all the way at the end of the run at the back fence but draped over the top of the chain link fence. Then I notice Melvin on the other side of the fence looking at me with a big grin. The lead was about 2 feet to short for him to sit or lay down so he was standing on his hind legs to prevent himself from being choked to death.
7. "Pooped a flashlight" - Lee Peters, dogsitter extraordinaire, was walking Melvin at night and noticed that something that appeared to be a long, cylindrical, red flashlight came out of Mel instead of your run of the mill excreta. He called me in a panic and uttered these famous words, "Melvin just pooped a flashflight". It turns out he didn't poop a flashlight, but instead a reconstituted 32-oz. Jif peanut butter jar that was left at ground level in the recycling bin. Ouch.
6. He had the hands ...err, teeth of a surgeon - Once again, with me traveling, Melvin pulled another amazing feat of dietary indiscretion. During a business trip, I had two female friends dogsitting at the house who decided to go out dancing leaving Melvin alone with their dirty laundry (big mistake). Melvin pulled one girls jeans from her suitcase and proceded to "snip" out the... umm... two tastiest regions? One section was about the size of an outstretched hand and the other a perfectly round half-dollar (you can probably guess where they were). But the most impressive feat beyond the perfect symmetry of the cuts was the 1/2 inch isthmus of fabric left untouched between the two holes.
5. Dead Car, Dirty Dog - On my third date with my wife-to-be Jennifer, my car broke down on the side of State Rte 528 as we returned from a Spring Training baseball in Melbourne that was rained out due to massive thunderstorms. Stranded in the middle of nowhere in this storm, a tow truck came to get us and returned us back to my house 3 hours after I expected to be home. Melvin was frightened by thunder which caused him to freak out, escape, and run through the streets like a madman so I was hurrying to get home to see if he was okay. On top of these fears, my date was a disaster, I was running late to pick up my son, and I didn't have any food for dinner. I walked in the house and Melvin was sitting innocently by the front door tail wagging to greet his loving master, except that he and the room looked very different. The floor of the foyer and dining room were coated in thick black mud and Melvin himself was covered head to paw. He had been trying to dig under the back fence to freedom. I wish I had a picture because you could only make out his blue eyes, pink tongue.
4. Abbott and Costello Meet the Orthopaedist - His last famous escape took place in February 2008. I was away in England once again, and Jen was home alone with the animals. She awoke from during a thunderstorm around midnight and went to check on Melvin, but he had flown the coop. Jen, like Mike before, would not lose the dog on her watch so she set out in her truck to scour the neighborhood in the storm. She spotted him walking down the sidewalk looking for trashcans to loot (or whatever it was he did when he escaped). So Jen went to head him off by pulling into the next driveway. She jumped out and lunged for his collar but he swerved away from the dive. Jen went down in a heap in the rain and broke her kneecap. Melvin sensed she was hurt and returned to see what was the matter. She somehow dragged him into the truck and got him home and cleaned up before giving me my wake up call in England.
3. "Party foul, dude"- I was told to keep a watchful eye on Melvin while at a wine and cheese party at Mike's Athens group house. Melvin's first mischief was on an unsuspecting girl's white wine which he spilled and lapped off the floor. I apologized then kept Melvin on the floor next to my armchair, scolding him if he tried to wonder through the party looking for goodies. I was doing well, but the pouch backed behind the couch, and behind the curtains before I figured out where he had gone. I was panicking and looking around the room, then I see his snout appearing from behind a lamp ever so slowly nosing towards the 2 lb cheese log on the far side of the room. When I screamed, "Melvin!" He grabbed the log, knocked over the lamp, spilled a couple more glasses of wine, and ran for his life (cue the Abbott and Costello music).
2. You gave him what to eat? - Driving back from DC once after Thanksgiving, my mother gave Melvin some scraps that I HAD ADVISED AGAINST GIVING HIM. Sorry for yelling, but he had a delicate stomach and mom knew this. But just like spoiling her grandchildren, she could not resist giving Mel a bowlful of turkey skin and bacon. About halfway through the trip, Melvin was sitting in the front seat of the Mountaineer and started getting ansy. I noticed this and told him we would stop the car shortly. Apparently, his English wasn't so good and I know my Huskese was pathetic because his tail turned to face me, his tail went up, and out came... I screamed and almost retched. The ghastliness hit the center console, slid down the plastic divider like a kid on a water slide, and settled down under the power seat. Thank goodness Jacob was in diapers because I pulled to the side of the road and began to scoop with Pampers. Melvin finished up on side of the highway then feeling refreshed pulled the leash out of my hands to play some "tag" on the side of the road; unfortunately that road was I-95 (cue Abbott and Costello music overlaid with the screams of Godzilla). Just as he dashed out in front the car to go play with the tractor trailers, I dove, and caught the bouncing retractable leash with my outstretched fingers yanking him back from the oncoming cars.
1. A Warm Welcome - When Jacob was born, a nurse recommended that I take the coddling blanket home to leave at the house to signal the animals that there was a new arrival. I walked in the house, dropped the blanket on the floor of the foyer, grabbed a shower, then went back to the hospital. Brandy was discharged a couple hours later and we returned to the house to see Melvin bubbling with excitement. The blanket was stretched flat on the ground and he needed to see what was in the car seat/basket thing. I held Jacob low for him to sniff and he just slammed his head into the basket and kept it there for 3 or 4 deep breaths, then he popped out and started running around the house jumping for joy. I've never seen anything like it.
