- The Blackhawks were second in the Central and fourth overall in the West
- The Coyotes were in 14th place (and had only just acquired their savior, Bryzgalov)
- The Penguins were struggling mightily (as #1 pick Fleury started nearly every game)
- People still thought the Sabres were just having a "slow start"
- The Flyers had only had two suspensions
Therefore, nothing about the Caps dramatic rise ensures end of season success. However, to be fair, a researcher in Edmonton put together some statistical analysis that takes into account a team's winning percentage, strength of schedule, and other things* If you look towards the middle of the the Eastern Conference percentages on that other site...done? Good. The Caps fall right below the Rangers and Islanders but above the Hurricanes to make the post-season. Pretty sweet, but it points out our boys haven't won anything yet. What it really says is that the Caps need our support for this final push. So for those that live in DC, this means, simply, that you must support your team and make it out to the games. You should paint your face, drink excessively, and taunt opposing players (especially any whose last name rhymes with "Fogger"... or whose first name sounds like... nevermind. Call Jagr a "Ninny". He hates that). You need to find the inner barbarian that hides deeply in all DC sports fans. It's that little voice that screams, "I detest Flyer fans! I'm sick of the massively, intimidating Western Pennsylvania brutes that uncloak their undersized flightless waterfowl fanaticism twice a year! I'm not a middle-class, white-collar minivan executive from the suburbs. I'm a fuckin' warrior God sent down from the hills of Rockville and Fairfax to protect this great city-state DC by shield and spear. To all that is good and gracious, I shall die at the foot of the Mall, fighting the invading northern hordes!" That's the voice, baby. You're hearing it.
Like I said, all denizens of DC & suburbia must unite and sacrifice. The statistic guru has shown that we have an excellent chance to make the run for the playoffs and actually watching games, I believe it. And as I learned in geometry, 44 percent is remarkably close to 50 percent, or better yet '51' percent. And 51% means there's a better chance of success than failure (I figured that out all by myself... thank you Montgomery Co. schools). It means that YOU can tip the balance. YOU can make a difference. Forget your job and familial obligations. Screw the upcoming elections. YOU are the unknown (the dreaded X-factor) in a race where your support can oust the incumbent and proclaim a new epoch. So after the battlefield has been swept clean of the carnage, bodies and blood, the Caps shall stand triumphant on the pitch begging for more. I'll watch on CenterIce from Florida, screaming with them. Most of you will die in the struggles, but it is a sacrafice that I'm willing to make.
*"Other factors" include less concrete items such as how much the hockey gods hates your team. If you haven't clicked on the article link, do so now. You won't see it written in the article, but it jumps out of the statistics. How could the Edmonton Oilers, who came so close to winning the whole enchilada two years ago have a 1% chance of making it? Former chamption Lightning at 11% and the famed Leafs at 3%? It can only be explained by a higher intelligence that punishes the smug. If I'm wrong (and I'm rarely right), I'm pretty sure this scientist has factored all possible diety intervention into the final quotient. Or perhaps he is a demented genius plotting to take over the world from his subarctic lair using statistical anomaly to twist most everyday occurances on their ear. With all mundane events explained in such technical terms, the unexpected and unforeseen will become welcome and novel. Once the writer strike has sufficiently lulled us into a complete Reality-TV stupor, his army shall be unleashed... Umm.... Where the hell was I? Sorry about that, but I've had to substitute my regular coffee with decaf spiked with Robitussin DM.)
1 comment:
The Capitals will need to make a number of moves if they wish to make the playoffs. First, they will have to acquire another point scoring center to play on the second line. Next, they will have to get rid of Matt Pettinger and replace him with a player that can actually play in the NHL. Finally as Chicken Man pointed out they will need to get at least 10,000 actual bodies at the arena for games. If they fail in the last criteria in the near future they can guarantee that those seats will be filled by rival fans as they come into the important games of the stretch run.
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