In a move that has rocked the hockey world to its foundation, Dan Snyder, current owner of the Washington Redskins has purchased the Washington Capitals hockey team for a staggering $600 million. Asked why he overpaid for the franchise by some estimates of $400 mil, Mr. Snyder responded, "Because now my team is the best one out there. Look how much it cost, for god's sake?"
Having attended a fantasy hockey draft party earlier in the season, Mr. Snyder had apparently developed a fondness for ice hockey and began scouting possible teams to purchase about a week ago. When he didn't receive a return call from previous owner Ted Leonsis, Mr. Snyder instructed his finance team to buy the MCI Center, the surrounding 12 city blocks, its shops, the shopkeepers, nearby pedestrians, and panhandlers.
In his press conference, Mr. Snyder finished by saying, "I hope to do the people of Washington a great service by buying... er... bringing them a championship. Washingtonians deserve the Stanley Cup once again!" When it was pointed out by the Washington Post correspondent Tarik El-Bashir than the Washington Capitals have never won the Cup in their 34 years, Mr. Snyder very calmly informed Tarik that he was no longer granting interviews to the Washington Post.
Immediately following his press conference, Mr. Snyder announced that he had hired George Allen's ghost to be the new head coach and that he will personally take over the General Manager capacity from, George McPhee. Since taking the reigns, he has signed forwards Wayne Gretzky, Gordie Howe, Toe Blake (d. 1995), and defensive back Deion Sanders. Apparently, when approached by Mr. Snyder for second run at a championship, Deion replied, "Deion has a deep appreciation for the trust Mr. Snyder has in Deion to save his ... uh.. hockey? Yeah, hockey team."
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I fail to see how any article about the Capitals would be complete without discussing the long term effects of Pat Peake's tragic career ending injury. Frankly, it was not just his heel that shattered, but the Capitals hopes and dreams as well.
Fortunately, I hear that Snyder is giving Peake some consideration as a candidate to replace coach Gibbs.
Dude, that was ages ago. If he was still in the system, imagine how high the franchise value would be... scary.
Post a Comment