Caps 5 - Rags 4 - Timeline of events

Tuesday - December 23, 2008

11:31 am - FeedReader RSS reader alerts me from Capitals Insider, Tarik El-Bashir "Johnson Sick; Theodore to Start".

11:32 am - I get in my car to go to Publix to buy more beer.

11:35 am - I realize that 8 beers is probably enough and change headings to ABC for bourbon.

Noon - 5:15 pm - Some nervous pacing/semblance of work transpires.

5:15 pm - (a.k.a beer:30) pssshhht.
5:30 pm - psshhht.
5:45 pm - psshhht.
6:00 pm - Remember that I need to make dinner for my wife. Heh, heh.
6:15 pm - psshhht. Put nurishment in body.
6:30 pm - psshhht. XBox to ease the mind until 7:00 start.
7:00 pm - Game at MSG commences
7:15 pm - 0-1 Rangers. Send first of many, "I told you so" text messages to JT believers.
7:20 pm - 0-2 Rangers. Sulk. Psshhht.
7:21 pm - 0-3 Rangers. Practice my George McPhee voice while figuring out how to get in touch with Ray Emery's cell phone number.

"Ray, this is George. We'd like to have you be a goalietender..." Try again.

"Mr. Emery. Are you available? err... Not personally but as a
goaltender, professional-ly. As a professional goaltender..." Try again.

"Agent E? This is HQ. The plan that we discussed in Antwerp over the summer is in effect. Repeat: It's gone 100% off the reservation. We're instituting Plan B. Operation: HOLY GOALIE. Return to Washington for reassignment." I like that one.

7:30 pm - Calmness ensues as Brett Johnson, with shaking and tremors visible on camera, stops all the pucks. (Then barfs in ice bucket next to Zamboni).

8:00 pm - JT resumes his netminding duties. Pssshhht. Locate the bourbon and put the 2-Liter Coke on stand-by.

8:05 pm - 0-4 Rangers. Screw the Coke.

8:15 pm - I'm heavily into my drink and playing Vexed on the phone with one eye closed when Alex changes the game in his next three shifts.

1. Caps kill a penalty at the 9 minute mark. Oveckhin steps on with Backstrom and Kozlov and have a nice tic-tac-toe to Ovie down low where he knocks it off Lundquist's blocker/shoulder. He bolts back to the net as the whistle blows. Takes a cheapie by Stall and butt ends him to the gut. He starts a scrum. I smile.
2. At the 12 minute mark, he takes a shift that's a minute and thirty seconds long. He enters the zone twice in control of the puck then shoots. The team loses the zone but he nails Redden in the corner. Rangers defense and Kozlov change but the Sloan pushes the puck right back to Ovie now with Fehr and Backstrom. Staal and Roszival both follow Backstrom into the corner leaving Zherdev to cover Ovie. He spins and fires a fluky goal that deflects off of Roszival. There is half-hearted much-rejoicing Pythonesque, "And the good guys score, yeah." On the next shift. Laich, Kozlov, and Fleischmann turn up the intensity and get a couple more shots off. Sam Rosen remarks that the momentum in the game has shifted. I put away my phone.
3. At the 15 minute mark, #8 resumes his terror. He blasts around/through Redden then later in the shift outmuscles Mara and Kalinin to get to the front of the net for a deflection. Gets the rebound, takes it around the net with Mara slashing him. Punches the puck to Backstrom who gives it to Kozlov in the slot. Kozzie rips a shot that deflects into the netting as he gets hit by Mara. Ovie steps between Mara and Kozlov at the whistle then turns to camera as it breaks for commercial and yells "Fuck" loud enough for MSG and all its microphones to pickup. I start to drink water.

The third period was blissful. Ovie hit anything that moved and Theodore stopped the puck. Then the Caps came back and won. After the game, I sat in disbelief with chills staring at the Center Ice "Good Night" message and listening to the porn soundtrack for a solid 10 minutes.

I wanted to write about this game but I didn't think writing after that many beers was productive (it shows I still had some sense about me). Realizing I had the DVR running, I give a big smile, and remark to my wife that this is in the top five of the 1000's of Caps games I have ever seen. Then, I went to bed* and had glorious Caps dreams.

*Editorial note - This last part is not true. Before bed, I set up the motion detector on my webcam to figure out which dog is pissing on the patio. This, of course, failed miserably when the battery died around 2:00 am because drunk ass forgot to plug in the A/C adapter. Secretly, I fear that I'm the one doing the patio pissing and subconsciously "forgot" the power supply. Going immediately to bed just sounded better than having to explain my vain attempt to delay the inevitable realization that I'm in a territorial pissing contest with a husky and a rottweiler. Never let the truth get in the way of a good story, eh?

Carolina Blue

Yesterday afternoon's game in Raleigh left me a little blue for a couple of reasons:

1. Need points - As BB mentioned, the points were there for the taking. The next couple of games aren't going to be any easier going against a rejuvenated Ottawa, a smarting Montreal, and a positively juggernautical (a word? I like it, screw it) Bruins squad.

2. Bad goalie, bad - My dogs listen to me when I chastise them in this manner. I tell them they're bad and they cease bad behavior. If only it was that easy with Josés. I think with Josés, they need to feel slighted or indignant to play better (such as playing against your old team -- see Montreal). Apparently feeling job pressure doesn't work. I wonder when management says enough is enough.

3. Lepisto needs new skates - He complained about his skates so maybe that was the cause of his blunder against Samsonov... AND Andy Sutton last week. It's possible... He's got great hands which get him out of trouble and let him direct the puck at will... but he looks like a newborn baby colt on wobbly knees whence the pressure begins.

4. Alzner looks good - Shultz may have found his replacement

What the hell is happening?

Where has Melvis been you may ask yourself... or not. Probably not. In case you're wondering, one word, SUFFERING. This season was to be all Caps glory, all Caps fever sweeping its way across the globe... (sigh). Instead I've seen some pretty inconsistent play over the last month. In general, all the Caps fall into three categories.

1. Awake and Kicking Ass - These are players that are keeping everybody afloat -- Semin, Flash, Nylander, Fedorov, Poti, Bradley, Johnson, Laich -- and they need NO discussion.
2. Awake and Groggy - There are also those that are playing well but are not being rewarded such as Ovi, Brashear, Gordon, Steckel. These players have a consistency about their game and are also of little concern.
3. Still Asleep - The rest, however, look like they're in their pajamas. That said, I'm beginning to see signs of life from the boys as several of their key players seem to have woke from their summer slumber so I'll start with them...

Just woke up and running for the Bus
Victor Kozlov - He played with determination against Carolina that he would no longer be pushed off the puck and when he did lose the puck, he hustled to backcheck and get he puck back. He was pucking good in other words.

Nick Backstrom - Perhaps the most disappointing Cap in my mind woke up on Thursday. He looks like he's been slowed by his ankle and maybe 10 pounds of cupcakes (nice moobs). I've been dissecting his game more than any other so far as he's missed the explosiveness and skating stride of last year. Thus, my wife was shocked that I traded for him immediately after the Canes game. Teemu for Nick... oh dear what in God's name am I thinking. Nick, you better not get tired, lay down, and hit the snooze button. Keep running and lose them cupcakes.

John Erskine - I've always admired Erskine's toughness and pure craziness but wished for him to harness it for good (steady intimidating toughness on the puck and around the net), rather than evil (bad penalties, goes out of way to make punishing hits, etc). His last two games have been perhaps his best as a Cap. I hope he keeps it up because little else from the D stalwarts has gone right.

Almost awake
Chris Clark - He's huffing and puffing and trying hard but seems to have lost his positioning and ability to receive a pass, and get the shot off. Clark won't dazzle you with a sleight of hand, pull the puck off the half wall, walk in front and rip one topshelf, so we should stop kidding ourselves. If Chris wants to be known as a goal scorer, he needs to drive the net consistently when he's on a top line or the PP. He needs to get down low, look for rebounds and be ready to sacrifice teeth, fingers, kidneys, and ears if he wants goals. If he's not in a position to score, he needs to understand his role and plug away. He seems like he's coming around.

Milan Jurcina - I've liked Jurcina ever since he was a Bruin getting 6 minutes a night. Actually that's a lie. I've liked Jurcina ever since I opened $10 pack of 2005 Upper Deck Premiere Hockey Cards (these were the ones that purportedly contained small strands of Ovechkin DNA in every 100,000th pack). So I shelled out for about 30 of these things and all I got was a bit of Milan Jurcina fingernail (Yes, you are correct, I wasn't married yet and No, probabilities and mathematics were never a strength). Now, I'm a fan and he's not terrible (like he was in the Philly series). That's it. Go Milan!

Missed the Alarm
Eric Fehr - I need to see more of him to make a proper judgement but this was to be his year and he's sleeping through it. There's a hungry Finn in the "A" that's waiting for that spot as well...

Mike Green - I believe he's playing with an bum wheel which is limiting his ability to skate backwards. He has three forward gears and only one reverse which makes any issues with that one reverse a big problem... at least for a player who's primary responsibility should be defense. He hasn't shown consistently that he's able to get back and remain effective.

Shoane Morrissonn - I don't know what has happened to his game but I can only think it's his confidence or the lingering effects of a rough post-season. He needs a scrap, a goal, or a new girlfriend... something. I hope its just his confidence suffering and he has a chance to get out of his funk. Outside the goalie, the Caps nation relies on him more than any other player to keep the opposition off the scoresheet.

Go Ahead and Kick Him, But I Think He's Dead
Jose Theodore - Maddeningly ill-equipped to handle the puck. Gaping 5-Hole. Tentative as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. If he can make it past the first period, he's pretty athletic and stops the pucks he should. However, his early play reminds me of Kolzig after Huet appeared last year. Kolzig lost his mojo and began playing a more panicked, less-disciplined game after Huet came probably as a result of knowing his job was in serious jeopardy. I wanted to give Jose the benefit of the doubt, but now I doubt the benefits... huh?

Jeff Schultz - I've tried really hard to like Schultz but nobody gets knocked off the puck by forecheckers more than Jeff. Nobody gets blown by standing flat-footed more then Jeff. I read that he added 10 pounds of muscle in the offseason to become a more physical player, which I thought was terrific. If we could just get all those pesky opposing forwards to stand still so Jeff can hit him, we'll be in good shape.