I would like to take this time to introduce the Chicken Baby. You can call him "Chicken", "His Nakedness", or "the feathered freak". His job is to help the Melvis boys with their trade predictions. For instance, just two days ago he predicted that Modry would be traded from L.A. He was wrong however that in return L.A. would be compensated beyond a bag of two-week old Hostess Twinkies but we thought it would be wise to listen. How bad could he be? If I were a betting man, I would certainly pay more attention to a naked Chicken-mask toting baby, than an idiot like Eklund. Take it away Chicken...Thanks Melvisdog for the introduction. Immediately I shall turn my attention to the Leafs. I foresee that the Mats Sundin saga will be decided by Cliff Fletcher as he shows that he's got the new NHL figured out. He will auction Mats to the rest of the league on eBay with a starting bid of $4.25 and no reserve. After San Jose wins with a winning bid of $55.90 and a first rounder, Mats will protest that his no trade clause does not allow him to move to a team with less than 14 Swedes. Mats subsequently will be tossed out of Ontario by a mob of angry Leafs fans hopeful that the new GM knows how to use a 1st round pick.
I foresee that Darcy Tucker will express his desire to remain in Toronto for the 78th time to the press. I also foresee that he will inexplicably self-combust when he's asked about the rumor sending him to Edmonton for 12 first round draft picks. I foresee many happy non-Leaf fans. Moving to the south into New York, I foresee that the Rangers will find no takers for Jaromir Jagr and will be content to dump him to the Czech's National Women's Team for a nice cream rinse and bath gels.
Upon hearing he will not be traded this year for the first time in more than a decade, Mike Sillinger will demand a trade from the Islanders because of family issues. Upon further investigation, the league will discover the Sillinger kids have a racketeering business turning a tidy profit at the local schools of Nassau County. The cities of St. Louis, Nashville, and Columbus, being leary of a Sillinger return, pitch in draft choices to send the family to New Jersey where Lou Lamiorello is always looking for creative ways to improve his roster. It also ensures that the kids find a nurturing environment for their new "hobby".
Dean Lombardi will discover that his 'showcase' of Dan Cloutier has not attracted any buyers to take the forelorn goaltender off his hands. Upon hearing he is being returned to Manchester, Cloutier goes AWOL eventually being found on the L.A. beaches where his skills are more appreciated. And finally, Jay Feaster's active shopping of Brad Richards results in a trade to Calgary for a 4th round pick in 2016. However, Feaster is only able to make this deal by getting Brad to waive his no trade clause, become a live-in volunteer at a Calgary hospital, a rodeo clown in the Stampede, and donate his Florida home to a Calgary vacation agency. Apparently, they expect him to work for $7.8 mil per season.
